Aside from being a bride, I've played a lot of different roles over the years in weddings: designer, coordinator, venue manager, MC, florist, and even second shooter for a photographer. This summer, I'm making my bridesmaid debut in my best friend's wedding (Yay, Bre!). Granted, she is absolutely the easiest, breeziest, most laid-back bride to ever exist - the role of bridesmaid is a super important one. Whether you're a rookie 'maid or an old pro, there are some key rules you need to adhere to and a few responsibilities you need to master.
The Easiest Rules We'll Ever Give You
Team Bride. All day. Every day.
Obviously, you and the bride are super tight if she asked you to stand beside her on the biggest day of her life. Support her decisions. Listen and really be there for her. You're her bridesmaid because she loves you and values your friendship. Being a great bridesmaid is really just being a great friend. And remember, if she hasn't already, she'll return the favor and be just as awesome if you ask her to be your bridesmaid one day.
Offer to help.
Seems obvious, but it's so easy to get caught up in your own life and let your bridesmaid responsibilities fall by the wayside. Talk to the bride and figure out where you best can be of assistance. Maybe it's dress shopping, maybe it's invitation stuffing, or maybe it's just taking her out for a drink to help her de-stress. Keep checking in and continue to offer your time throughout the entire planning process.
If there's anything you need to chill out on during your time as a bridesmaid, it's drama. If you have an opinion on something to do with the wedding, politely share it. If it's shot down, move on. She's planning her wedding. Don't dilute it by being rude, selfish, or dramatic. Remember, Team Bride! Always, Team Bride.
Your Ever So Important Bridesmaid Duties
- Be honored + excited! Welcome to Team Bride.
- Help with wedding planning.
- Buy your bridesmaid dress, shoes, and accessories.
- Get an awesome gift for the following events:
- Engagement party
- Bachelorette party
- Bridal shower
- Check in with the bride to see what you can help with.
- Coordinate with the other bridesmaids - especially the MOH - to plan, pay for, and host the bachelorette party.
- Coordinate with the other bridesmaids - and maybe even the bride/groom's family - to plan, pay for, and host the bridal shower.
- Seriously, keep offering to help!
- Attend the ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
- Be ready to rock on the wedding day. Be a calming presence. Keep an eye on the time. Fix her hair when it's blowing around crazy during photos. Oh, and dance with her. A lot.
Of all the ladies in her life, the bride picked you to help her go to the bathroom on her wedding day. If that ain't friendship, I don't know what is.
Extra Tips from a Former Bride
- Don't be afraid to have an opinion, especially when it comes to your attire. The bride has about one million decisions to make for her wedding so when she asks what you like, she's not just asking to be polite. Help her out!
- During her wedding, keep her hydrated. She's not going to have time (or even be able to think to) head over to the bar. Every person there will stop her on the way and it will never happen. I literally had three sips of a beverage at my reception and didn't go to the bathroom for a full 14 hours. NOT. HEALTHY. (Sorry for the TMI.)
- Ooooo and ahhhhh at her when she comes out in her dress for the first time. You're her favorite ladies so being distracted with your own conversations when she comes out would be a sad moment. It's her big day after all!